Occasionally the man in your life will want something that he doesn’t articulate. He doesn’t share and it’s either because he doesn’t know how to ask for the thing or he’s too embarrassed to ask for that thing. Either way, when that goes unsaid, you have no idea what he may desire in the relationship. So today I’m going to share with you seven things that men want but don’t ask for in a relationship.
- He wants you to be happy: How does a guy ask for this? Be happy, please? Be happy damn it? No, it’s pretty awkward and very ineffective. Right? But the problem is the happiness you see is a reflection of his Effectiveness as a man in the relationship. After interviewing hundreds of couples who have been married over 40 years often the men would say, hey, look if mama aren’t happy aren’t anybody happy. Your happiness is tied to our sense of worth as a man. So we want you to be happy. So if you’re not happy don’t be surprised if your man starts to get restless and he’s either going to try to fix the thing that you’re unhappy about or he’s going to avoid until you become happy, but your happiness is key to his happiness.
- You should take interest in his interests. Men love it when you become passionate about what he’s passionate about. So whether that’s his favorite sports team or whether that’s a hobby that he loves like RC planes or racing or whether that’s a job that he’s passionate about. When you start to show interest in those things. It builds a bond and a connection between the two of you but men rarely asked for this. A buddy of mine was telling me a story about how he’s an avid football fan and he loves the Steelers, and he called his long-distance girlfriend one Sunday and just to kind of check-in with her. He said hey, what are you doing? The Jews? What do you mean? What I’m what am I doing? I’m getting ready for the Steeler game. Well, then she started talking about the game and what was coming up and he’s telling me he’s like I couldn’t believe she was actually getting ready for the game. I felt my heart connect to her a totally melted because she’s passionate about something that I’m passionate about. The love that he has for that thing now connects to you.
- He wants you to initiate the sex-go-ahead and be bold to surprise him. Come out of the bathroom in that sub sexy. Lingerie, maybe that outfit you haven’t put on a while. He wants you to be the one initiating sex unless however, you are the sex machine in a relationship and you’re doing all the initiation in which case give the man a breather.
- Your man wants to be praised and acknowledged: Yet no man will ask for this or rarely ask for this and yet it’s what we crave the most. Praise and acknowledgment to know that we’re doing a good job as your man so it can be something as simple as just a favor that he does for you. And you say hey babe. Thank you so much for bringing the food home today. I really appreciate that or you can praise him for an everyday common experience like him giving you a hug. So the next time he gives you a hug whisper in his ear and says sweet into the ears and you will see him expand. You will see him literally like feel better about himself because remember this. a man’s sense of self expands under the light of your praise.
- He wants you to encourage him to adventure: We are often conditioned to believe that women want way more time together than we want and you and I both know that that’s not true. You want your Independence just as much as he does. You want your time or time of the girlfriends just as much as he does, but men were often conditioned to believe that if we ask for time away than that, you’re going to get your feelings hurt or that’s going to be seen as a bad thing. So when you actually encouraged him to go adventuring, glad to go get some guy time or go do something that he loves he is going to love that so you could simply say hey babe. I’ve got Sunday brunch with my girlfriend’s this Sunday want you go and create a boy’s day and he’s going to love that and that type of Freedom actually creates a desire to invest more time with you.
- He wants your confidence in him again: This is very difficult to ask for but it’s obvious when he doesn’t get it, but it’s also very easy to show your confidence in him. Here’s how it works. Confidence in him is as simple as giving him a task and then letting him complete the task for you, but oftentimes what will happen is there will be the type of woman who says hey, would you take me on a date whiles you drive me? Let’s go to this restaurant. And then while they’re driving she’s telling him the best way to go and she’s instructing him on where to park. Well she says hey, honey, will you wash the dishes and as he’s washing the dishes and putting them in the dishwasher? She’s correcting him and say no the glass goes here and put the dish in that way and she’s micromanaging the situation when that happens. He feels like you don’t trust him to actually provide for you, but allowing him to accomplish the task actually sitting back and letting him serves you shows that you have faith in him
- Showing faith in his abilities is showing faith in the man himself. Your man has a deep desire for respect. Now when I traveled 12,000 miles around the United States interviewing America’s greatest marriages, respect was the number one principle that all these couples talked about. Yet respect can also be a little bit ambiguous at how do we know that we’re respecting each other? Respect shows up in the little things, it shows up in the way we listen to one another. It shows up in the way we show up on time and keep an agreement for when we’re going to meet one another. He shows up in the way. We honor each other’s differences and make it okay that we don’t have to like the same things or have the same opinions all the time. It shows up in how we are courteous to one another and saying; please and thank you for things. I remember I was blown away one of the things that just absolutely blew my mind about my wife when we were dating. How She was and how she never let the little things get by her without showing appreciation. And even after we got married we would go out to dinner. Our bank accounts are combined. She’s contributing to the money. I’m contributing to the money we go out to dinner. I get the bill, I pull out I pay for dinner and at the end of dinner she says thank you for dinner honey. She gives me a big kiss and I’m thinking well, your money’s in here just like my money is but simply the fact of her appreciating those little things shows respect. It shows appreciation and it makes it a big deal and it goes a long way. So think about what are the ways that you can show respect to your man.
So there you have it, seven things that men want but don’t ask for as a way for you to build a stronger connection with your man. I got a question for you. Now, what do you want in a relationship that you rarely asked for?
Go ahead post a comment in the comment section below let’s start talking.
Credit: Mat Boggs